03 August 2015
Stop Stalking Facebook!!
So there you are, happily clicking your way around the internet. Browsing your facebook network for the best looking girls that you’ll never actually meet, typing your ex-girlfriend’s name into Google, watching a cat being microwaved on YouTube… ahh, life is good. A few more clicks and you’re watching a video of a sexy girl oiling herself up.
‘Nice’, you think to yourself. She’s not bad; in fact she’s pretty hot. Eight out of ten you decide after a few moments of serious contemplation. You check to see who posted the video – someone called ‘Top London Escorts’. Escorts? London? Hmm, now you’re intrigued.
You decide to click on the link in the profile out of curiosity. A second later and you’re looking at the London escorts site. And hey look, that girl from the video is there again! Cool. Another click. Now she looks even sexier in her photos. Another five seconds of concentrated thought. Forget the eight; she’s been upgraded to a nine.
Then you notice a little tag on her profile. ‘Available today’. Available for what? A thorough examination of the FAQ page soon follows… Ok, now you get it! You can actually meet that girl for a date. In real life. Today. So all you need to do is call that number at the top of the screen. Will you do it? More pause for thought. A smile creeps across your face. You have the flat to yourself and no plans and the prices are pretty good considering how sexy that girl is.
A quick phone call and the receptionist tells you that the sexy escort with the tan and the perfect figure will be with you in 30 minutes. This is great. You don’t even have to go out – she’ll be driven straight to your door. You lean back in your char smirking in self satisfaction. In your dressing gown. Oh s**t! You haven’t even changed yet. You’ve got 30 minutes to get showered and ready! You jump in the bathroom in a mild state of panic but you’re still smiling. This should be an interesting night…
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